Is it bedtime yet?

7:30 am is too early to be yelling.

I have that thought pass through my head every single day. And every day I think to myself "It'll be fine, the kids will listen to me, they just woke up from a great night's sleep, they'll be in a good mood, so no yelling will be necessary."

Have I mentioned how often I lie to myself?

Some days are good. I can actually get a cup of coffee in my hand and breakfast on the table before I have to raise my voice in order to be heard. Other days are not. And I find myself straining to be listened to before my feet have even hit the floor.

The cosmic gods must have thought giving us this combination of children was a fucking riot.

We have the tween diva, who finds it necessary to correct me whenever she thinks I'm mistaken...like when I've told her that she doesn't need another snack or that her room does indeed need to be cleaned. No matter what I say, she has an answer. Part of me thinks it's great that she has such a mind of her own, and isn't just a sheep. The other part of me wishes she would just shut the hell up and please do as I say.

We have the Kindergardener, who can hear me say the word "cookie" from across the house, but seems to have difficulty hearing my voice when it's right next to her ear. She's the queen of selective hearing. She has special needs, but we try not to treat her any different than we treat the other 2. Because even though she doesn't talk all that much, I know for certain she can hear everything I say.

And then we have the preschooler, who is too smart for her own good. She's my constant talker. And I do mean constant. From the moment she wakes up, to the moment when she passes out on her bed, she is talking. Some of my repetitiveness must either be genetic or from example, because she can't just say something once. It has to be at least 4 times, for maximum awareness. She has also hit the whiny stage. So not only is she talking almost every minute of every day, but it's always in that "OH MY GOD MY EARS ARE BLEEDING" type of voice. She can put the sound of nails on a chalkboard to shame at times.

If you hadn't guessed by now, yes, we have three, count 'em, three girls. They will ALL be teenagers at the same time. No, my husband doesn't have a shotgun, but I can foresee the purchase of one in his future. As I can see a bottle of Xanex in mine, only much, much sooner.