Or maybe that's the eyes, but I digress.
Everyone and their mom seems to be having extraordinary and realistic dreams that defy their wildest imaginations. These people wake up, after having some sort of prophetic vision, and suddenly their lives have meaning.
I should be so lucky.
I don't dream. Much. I remember being a young child and having extremely vivid dreams that would stay with me for years. I had one particular dream when I was about 7 or 8, of my best friend at the time and I being chased through Toys R Us by 2 male & 1 female vampires. They caught my friend at the top of one of those gawd awful skyscraper type aisles. Then I woke up screaming. I had this dream for years. I remember it to this day, 20-some odd years later.
I suppose it could probably be explained away by the fact that, as children, our imaginations are running rampant and subsequently our subconscious is way more active, culminating in crazy dreams.
Whatever.
I just would like to dream, and be able to remember it longer than 20 seconds after I wake up. I suppose that's the crux of the matter. I have dreams, every so often, but I can't remember shit about them. I would especially like to remember the sexy dreams. Double especially when they have some hot sexy actor who currently plays a cold, sparkly vampire.
Ahem
Another part of me wishes I would dream, so I would dream of my mother. My mom died almost 2 years ago, and I have never had a dream about her. Not once. I'm not a real religious person (I think I've been to church once in the last 5 years) but there have been times when I've actually prayed to have a dream about my mom. I think about my mom everyday, but I can't see her in my head, while I sleep.
I've had a few discussion with myself about this. Me and the voices in my head are tight. It could just be that my subconscious thinks I'm not ready emotionally for that. Losing my mom took a tremendously huge toll on my psyche. It was a long journey, and it was emotionally draining. Maybe I'll start dreaming of her when I've worked through all my issues. Which, seeing the list of issues that I've accumulated, might be awhile.
But, going more over to the religious side of things, I've contemplated that maybe it's because she's in Heaven. She resolved all her "business" before leaving this earth, and now is peacefully watching over my family & I, without having to creep into my sleeping head.
My only problem with that theory is, I need her. Again with the selfishness you're probably saying. Let the poor woman rest for eternity in peace without having to drag her back into the crappiness of life just because you need a mental hug! But that's just it. I am selfish, and I do need her. Especially with the fact that my only other parent seems to think it's perfectly acceptable to only call on birthdays and holidays, and even then he's either late or forgets and I have to call him.
I've thought about starting a dream journal and trying to keep it by the bed so that I can quickly jot down all those juicy details of my nighttime psyche before they drip out of my ear holes. But I have enough problems trying to haul my tired ass out of bed in the morning, even when I can hear little voices in the room across the hall yelling,"Moooooom, I pooooped!!!!" Being able to consciously grab a pen and coherently write down whatever weird, Freudian thoughts had been creeping around in my head all night sounds like way too much work, and quite possibly might provide no insight into my life at all. It would be just perfect to have a dream, and try to write it down, but have nothing be legible on the paper other than: I like cheese.
Talk about profound.
No comments:
Post a Comment